In TV friendships, we see the unlikely friendship between Troy and Abed in Community, Lorelai and Sookie in Gilmore Girls. Joey and Ross in Friends, despite the messiness with Rachel. Lovely in theory? Yes. But reality? Immediately no.
As kids, we declare BFFs during break time, just to experience painful
friendship breakups as pre-teens. Our lives, once centered around who to sit
next to in class, suddenly becomes a swamp of work commitments, dating, and
extracurricular activities. We make friendship the basis of our young lives,
only to discover that in adulthood things change, people change and friendships
falter.
My friends and I
don’t speak every day. They can’t drop everything at a moment’s notice, because
they have their own lives. We’re all time-poor. Arranging a friend date
involves a ton of effort, incompatible calendars, partners and priorities.
I read somewhere they said ‘Friendship,
to me, isn’t about birthday cards, or smiling selfies, or how long you’ve known
each other. It’s about knowing that that person is flawed and busy and not
always available, and choosing to be in their life anyway.’ While I agree, I will always find it absurd to dismiss acts like birthday epistles, cards, or any other form of affection your friend is into. Friendships are important.
Undoubtedly, I am not the world’s greatest friend. And yet, I hope my friends know that I’m here. As a confidant, a brunch date, and a judgment-free zone. Because, my god, I love my friends. Whether we see each other regularly, or once in a blue moon. I love them for their wit, compassion, their honesty, and their courage. I love them for their openness. I love them for cheering me on, even from afar. I love cheering them on.
Maybe, as we navigate adulthood and all it entails, that’s what true, realistic, and long-lasting friendship is all about. Maybe having a best friend who knows your secrets, phone passcode, and favorite type of boba isn’t realistic for all of us. And that’s okay. Maybe having several friends, all with their delights, is the key to a profound and fulfilling life.
Sometimes the bonds
of friendship grow, and other times they break. But a friendship doesn’t have to be
persistent or permanent to have a profound effect on your life. When someone good is
“happening” to you, make the most of it and enjoy the process so that you don’t
look back and regret it. Understanding that
life happens and phases that tied you and a friend together expire. Some friends
we knew during our childhood are still our friends but not in the way they were
to us during childhood. There are some friends we had in our past whom we have
no idea where they are now.
In many ways, friendship in adulthood is
one of the highest forms of love imaginable. Unlike marriage, there are no
financial benefits or ceremonial recognition. It’s simply two people, meeting
up, for the sake of conversation. It’s beautiful.
If a friendship that was beautiful falls apart, mourn it and move on.
What defines a friendship for you? Do you consider yourself a good friend?
Omg a beautiful read, I’m touched. This!!💕
Thank you, sis.
Lovely piece. This blog post make me remember the popular Yoruba adage that says “20 friends cannot play together for 20 years”; A nice reminder that things changes, both good and bad so enjoy the lovely moments you have with friends.
This is so deep! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts as well.
This is beautiful sandyy.
Thank you!
I needed this reminder on friendship. Thank you Sandra
You’re welcome. Thank you for reading T.
🕸This is Cool.✨
Thank youu.